Ask Satan

Übermilf asked:

is taco dip one of your inventions?

Um, no... Why, does it feel sinful? Do you feel like you're getting extra help when you make it?

---

Ok, it's been slow here lately. I'm mostly just amused by the idea that the U.S. of A. Federal Government will soon own a huge part of the country's financial industry. Yeah, that's capitalism for you. To think Reagan and Bush (the Greater) really thought they'd beat socialism in the Cold War.

But moving from comedy to sports, the ancient and honorable competition of Finger Pointing has been great. Not as good as the F1 race at Spa (the actual race, not the stewards), but pretty good nonetheless. My favorite entry so far comes by way of that champion of the feet, both surgically and in his mouth, none other than Curt Schilling: Finger Pointing 101...

A revisionist masterpiece. Any other contenders?

-- Satan

Satan's Picks

Here's how the current worldline will play out, before future interventions:

Atlanta @ Carolina          Carolina
Cleveland @ Cincinnati      Cincinnati
Houston @ Jacksonville      Jacksonville
Denver @ Kansas City        Denver 
San Francisco @New Orleans  New Orleans
Arizona @ NY Jets           Arizona 
Green Bay @ Tampa Bay       Green Bay 
Minnesota @ Tennessee       Tennessee
San Diego @ Oakland         San Diego 
Buffalo @ St Louis          Buffalo 
Washington @ Dallas         Dallas
Philadelphia @ Chicago      Philadelphia 
Baltimore @ Pittsburgh      Baltimore 

Forgot to post these last week, so for the record:

Kansas City @ Atlanta        Atlanta
Oakland @ Buffalo            Buffalo
Tampa Bay @ Chicago          Tampa Bay 
Carolina @ Minnesota         Minnesota
Miami @ New England          New England
Cincinnati @ NY Giants       NY Giants
Houston @ Tennessee          Tennessee
Arizona @ Washington         Arizona  
Nawlins @ Denver             Denver
Detroit @ San Francisco      San Francisco
St Louis @ Seattle           Seattle
Cleveland @ Baltimore        Baltimore
Jacksonville @ Indianapolis  Indianapolis
Pittsburgh @ Philadelphia    Philadelphia
Dallas @ Green Bay           Green Bay
NY Jets @ San Diego          San Diego

Quiet week for me, actually - only three games revised. The main excitement was the faction who hate the Patriots waking up to the fact that just taking out Tom Brady wasn't enough to make the Patriots lose, so they had to step up and sell a little more...

-- Satan

Satan's Picks

Amazing how many people wished Tom Brady ill -- enough to do something about it. And that was only the beginning of some interesting deals... Well, dear readers, in case you were misled in your investments by the advance version of reality reported last week, here's a chance to recoup. Less time for revisions this week. Though it takes only an instant if the intent is there...

Chicago       @ Carolina      Carolina
Buffalo       @ Jacksonville  Jacksonville
Oakland       @ Kansas City   Kansas City
Indianapolis  @ Minnesota     Minnesota
Nawlins       @ Washington    Nawlins 
NY Giants     @ St Louis      NY Giants 
Green Bay     @ Detroit       Green Bay 
Tennessee     @ Cincinnati    Tennessee 
San Francisco @ Seattle       Seattle
Atlanta       @ Tampa Bay     Tampa Bay
Miami         @ Arizona       Arizona
New England   @ NY Jets       New England 
San Diego     @ Denver        San Diego 
Baltimore     @ Houston       Baltimore 
Pittsburgh    @ Cleveland     Pittsburgh 
Philadelphia  @ Dallas        Philadelphia

-- Satan

Satan's Football Picks

Gambling season is back. Here's what will happen this week - subject, of course, to deals made later by players, fans, bookies, etc. Ranked in order of certainty.

KC  @ NE   NE
STL @ PHI  PHI
CHI @ IND  IND
CAR @ SD   SD
SEA @ BUF  SEA
WAS @ NYG  NYG
ARI @ SF   ARI
DEN @ OAK  DEN
DAL @ CLE  DAL
MIN @ GB   GB
JAC @ TEN  JAC
DET @ ATL  DET
TB  @ NO   TB
CIN @ BAL  BAL
HOU @ PIT  PIT
NYJ @ MIA  NYJ

Feel free to use these to make money. Just don't blame me if you lose.

-- Satan